Oh he is Just 2 and a boy, he will grow out of it!

Any one who knows me knows i hate the phrase "Jackson is going though the 2's and is a boy! he will grow out of this!"  for some this is true for others its a whole different life.  My life is never dull, yes i have 2 kids, yes i stay home....but when people say you have your hands full , they don't realize how true that is.   I never know how the day is going to go.  We wake up...eat breakfast... for Jackson it is usually oatmeal....then if its gone well then there is a hope the day will be ok.... if he is upset just  getting to the table i know its "one of those days"but even then its up in the air.  Jackson has Sensory Processing Disorder which can make day to day tasks very hard.  He does not like the feel of some clothes, we even had to stop cloth diapering..the way his shoes fit becomes a task...he has issues with the texture of foods, he has a need for deep pressure on his joints and body which is why he is very "crash bang" and does not show much in the way of pain when he does something that should hurt and teach him not to do it again.....he does not handle large crowds very well and has a very strict routine in day to day life.  Those are just some examples of the life of Jackson.    Jackson has always been a mama's boy and seemed to like things just his way....for a while i just thought well it will change...i started questioning many things one being autism, he was big on lining things up, his high pain tolerance,  not very snuggly among other concerns but for 2 his speech was amazing and above his level  and he acted "normal" to many who saw him but what they did not see is how stressed out he got in every day situations and how it was hard to get him to calm down.  What did it for me was one day while dropping Adeline off for Ballet class we walked in a room, a room he could not connect with dance because he has never been there before and he just started crying and screaming louder and louder.. his trains, blanket or snack would not  help, his 3 must have items every were we went were not helping.  A mom saw how stressed i had become and told me she would take over helping Adeline change and just go and it was ok, I left the building in tears in my car, sitting there not understand as his mother feeling like something was wrong and i couldn't fix it, and before you think to your self " well you cant fix it all and kids will get up set" this was a moment with him that i knew he could not control and what ever it was was to much and to not be able to make it better with the ways i knew have helped in the passed just really got to me.  You know that gut instinct as a mom when you know its not just right and to stop listening to everyone trying to give you the normal advice and the they will grow out of it speech.  Now at this point i have felt very trapped in my home, he does not let dad help him, grandma babysit him and if we have to go to the store it better be when it was less crowded.  I began to talk to some people and got him in to first steps and it was made a world of difference in my home to know what i need to do to help him so he can do things with out so much upset.  It will not be over night and i still have my moments were i feel very lost and just spend a few minutes alone crying but now i feel like even though it will always be something he deals with some how it will become easier.  He is a joy to have and surprises me each day.  We have been approved for a weighted pressure vest and I CAN NOT WAIT! it will give him a feeling of boundaries and put that pressure on his body to were he may calm down some and not go trying to be a stunt devil... balance him out so to speak. It is just the start of this journey.  well i must go! bye!